Div II/The Summer/THE FUTURE

So, apparently every entry I'm ever going to write is going to pertain to my Div II? Anyway, I'm officially a Div II, thank heavens. I'll have to drop in to Central Records tomorrow to get my pin!
I'm seriously considering taking a UMass class this summer - either a studio drawing one or an art education seminar. The only problem with the seminar is that it starts at nine, and I would have to get there which means leaving the house pretty early if I'm going by foot or by bike (which will probably be the case). Well, we shall see, anyway.
And in Italian, we're learning about "casa dolce casa," which means our assignment tonight is to bring in tomorrow a picture of our ideal home. There are a lot of thoughts in Italian lately that pertain to the distant future; my composition that's due Monday is me picturing my life in the year 2030. Like I've said before, it's hard for me to even envision what I'm going to be doing in the next twenty hours, forget the next twenty years.
I guess the thing that bothers me is that I used to be so sure. I used to know exactly what I wanted and how I wanted my life to be. And then I grew up, I guess, and realized that it's so much more exciting to let life happen to you and become surprised by what you get. Which isn't to say that I don't have any long-term goals or dreams - I do. I guess I'm just more focused on living in the here and now...sometimes.
I say sometimes because I also lately think a lot about the future in terms of my family situation; I meditate every-so-often on getting married and having a baby. And it's not me being impatient, really, or that I'm wanting something like that now. It's more of me planning the future - but the more near future.
I'm going to be twenty in about a month and a half. Now, that's by no means old; however, it is older. And I have a lot of decisions coming my way about a lot of things. And I also feel ready for becoming older - more ready now than I have been in even the recent past.
So, moral of the story: I'm growing up. And I'm growing up fast. But I feel like I'm maturing more quickly mentally/emotionally than physically, if that makes any sense. And maybe that comes from already having a natural inclination toward maturity, and maybe it's in part because I'm female. Who knows. I kind of suspect it has a bit to do with going to Hampshire, where everyone is so grown-up, at least compared to other students at other schools.
At Hampshire, I'm treated like an adult, which is what I am. To the rest of the world, well...not so much. Back in Connecticut I feel like I still have this role as a child that I can't fill anymore, and it's so hard to express how I'm growing up because nobody wants to acknowledge what that means.
So, I guess I don't entirely know what my ideal house is. I think it's probably old and red, and maybe it has a black or dark-wood door. If James has any say in the matter (and he does, of course), there will be a brick oven in the yard. There will be...maybe two bedrooms and a couple bathrooms. All the furniture will be comfortable and the kitchen will always smell good and the fireplace will be running through most of the winter.
And everything will be beautiful and alive, and I will be happy.